Submitted by Bill: I was at a 12 step meeting a few days ago where one of the participants’ remarks showed that he had no real idea of what anonymity meant, or the reasons for it. So I thought I’d weigh in with a few ideas on the subject.
I tell people that I have no anonymity; that I drank and drugged publicly and I consider it a privilege to recover publicly. Despite that, however, I do not advertise my membership in a particular 12-step program. I often mention attending meetings, in my writing and elsewhere, but not which meetings. I speak knowledgeably about AA, NA, and other fellowships, but I don’t talk about membership. I have what I believe are good reasons for that, and I’d like to share my thoughts with you.
As I see it, there are two basic reasons for anonymity in a program of recovery: protection of the recovering alcoholic/addict, and protection of the program itself.
First of all, if we wanted to tell people we were members of AA, that would be our business, and ours only, provided that we did it on a personal level. We might do so when speaking to people one-on-one, or in small groups under conditions where privacy can be presumed, because friendships are enhanced by such honesty under most conditions. Then, too, that revelation might raise opportunities to bring the 12th Step into play.
Another area where we need to be careful is in speaking to outside groups. We need to be sure that we’re not thought to be speaking for a particular fellowship. If we set ourselves up as some sort of recovering guru, how is the program going to look if, six months from now, one of those folks sees us passed out behind a dumpster, or in the ER being treated for an overdose?
Could happen. If you don’t think it could, speak to your sponsor.
There are excellent reasons, however, for us not breaking your anonymity. You might be hindered in your employment if word got out. You might be an airline pilot with 20 years clean and sober who had neglected to tell the FAA about her problem — required by law — and lose your livelihood due to our big mouth. It could simply be an issue that you find embarrassing. It’s no one else’s business. Our business is to keep what we have learned about others in the rooms to ourselves, period. (Whether or not the airline pilot is behaving ethically in that situation is not the issue; it’s our behavior we’re discussing — and that is not a hypothetical example.)
The last, and perhaps best, reason that I can think of for sticking with the tradition of anonymity is humility. It makes me just “another bozo on the bus.” If I’m going try to be a guru, it’s going to have to be on my own merits, not those of the program. That’s good for me and for the program, because my opinions often vary somewhat from more traditional positions. When they do, I need to take the credit — and the criticism.
Anyway, those are a few of my thoughts about the issue, and I’m only speaking for myself. Your mileage may vary.